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Being in your 30s - Help!


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Well, what you're doing now seems to work for you since you don't mind living with a "4" who comes home with the taste of a different guy's dick in her mouth every night.   No offense man.

Miser you have two other threads about yourself already. 

Stop dating women who get cream pies from other dudes.  

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54 minutes ago, Val said:

 

No offense, but I don't think that's it at all. 

 

This isn't even me trying to be disrespectful to Miser, but I think Miser is just a classic narcissist. Everything becomes about him

 

He chooses relationships that he knows are gonna fail because HE can be the savior or the victim in it. He can either save her, or be the victim to a cruel woman.

 

I saw how he discussed the suicide of his last gf. It wasn't emotional, it wasn't because he genuinely cared. It was how HE CHOSE A WOMAN THAT KIILLED HERSELF 

 

THEREFORE HE IS THE PROBLEM. So that again, he can talk about himself. 

 

Miser enjoys the attention, whether it's negative or positive. To him, it's validation. 

 

That's how I see it  anyways.  


I probably am a narcissist OR have tendencies towards it, but I will say while I used to be about saving women and all that white knight shit, I'm not anymore. I don't know that I necessarily even want to be a victim either, anymore. I love attention; I always have; I won't deny that.

Well, thing is, over the last few years I've become in some ways decidedly non emotional about certain things. That gf - she wasn't my last gf - we hadn't been romantic or even seen each other since I think the latter part of 2017 - we ended on bad terms and weren't speaking for a while when she died. And 7 people I know have died in the last 3 years so when someone dies at this point it's kinda like "there goes another one"

I don't even think I was the problem there. She talked suicide for years. Nothing I did, or didn't do, or didn't say was going to talk her off that. I spent a long time trying to talk her off the suicide trip until I just gave up and kinda didn't give a shit anymore.

I do think I need validation but that's also cause frankly I don't and have never truly gotten it from anywhere, if we're going to analyze me. Even now, my family is very like - no one pats each other on the back or says 'good job', no one really uplifts or nurtures each other. Like even amongst each other, sans me - it's sorta like, we're all like, on our own in my family. Like, you'll get the standard pleasantries ("Oh your new dog is really cool") or whatever but like - talent is nurtured. Gifts aren't appreciated. It's almost like there exists between my siblings, even in absence of myself, a competition rather than friendly cooperation; and when I factor into that, it's the same dynamic.

 

My mother was a splitter and she came from a mother who was a splitter, so you have a family that is by its very nature at odds, and thus, deprives any real validation, unconditional love, or adoration - 

And I suppose just as much as the validation, the unconditional love, or adoration is what I seek; have always sought; and it has driven me to all my romantic relationships. If I was a true narcissist I think validation within myself would be enough, but it isn't. I look at relationships where women are completely loyal and devoted and affection toward their men and envy it - but at the same time, some part of me chooses women who on some level I know WON'T give me that, because that's what I was conditioned toward.

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14 minutes ago, EstrangedTWAT said:

 

Well, what you're doing now seems to work for you since you don't mind living with a "4" who comes home with the taste of a different guy's dick in her mouth every night.   No offense man.

 

It's disappointing but it's not working for me either hence my dilemma. 

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I spent a few million dollars on blow in my 30s which ended in 2 heart attacks. Then in my 40s, to go against all common sense, I let my health go to shit (as if it wasn't already) and got to nearly 400 pounds...and threw in another heart "incident". Now at almost 50, my days consist of salami & shitposting.

 

I wouldn't change a goddamn thing...

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7 minutes ago, sixes unmasked said:

I spent a few million dollars on blow in my 30s which ended in 2 heart attacks. Then in my 40s, to go against all common sense, I let my health go to shit (as if it wasn't already) and got to nearly 400 pounds...and threw in another heart "incident". Now at almost 50, my days consist of salami & shitposting.

 

I wouldn't change a goddamn thing...

Still doing better than Miser.

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38 minutes ago, sixes unmasked said:

I spent a few million dollars on blow in my 30s which ended in 2 heart attacks. Then in my 40s, to go against all common sense, I let my health go to shit (as if it wasn't already) and got to nearly 400 pounds...and threw in another heart "incident". Now at almost 50, my days consist of salami & shitposting.

 

I wouldn't change a goddamn thing...

I love ya bro. But still disappointed you're not Fezzie.

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1 hour ago, Wilco said:


I probably am a narcissist OR have tendencies towards it, but I will say while I used to be about saving women and all that white knight shit, I'm not anymore. I don't know that I necessarily even want to be a victim either, anymore. I love attention; I always have; I won't deny that.

Well, thing is, over the last few years I've become in some ways decidedly non emotional about certain things. That gf - she wasn't my last gf - we hadn't been romantic or even seen each other since I think the latter part of 2017 - we ended on bad terms and weren't speaking for a while when she died. And 7 people I know have died in the last 3 years so when someone dies at this point it's kinda like "there goes another one"

I don't even think I was the problem there. She talked suicide for years. Nothing I did, or didn't do, or didn't say was going to talk her off that. I spent a long time trying to talk her off the suicide trip until I just gave up and kinda didn't give a shit anymore.

I do think I need validation but that's also cause frankly I don't and have never truly gotten it from anywhere, if we're going to analyze me. Even now, my family is very like - no one pats each other on the back or says 'good job', no one really uplifts or nurtures each other. Like even amongst each other, sans me - it's sorta like, we're all like, on our own in my family. Like, you'll get the standard pleasantries ("Oh your new dog is really cool") or whatever but like - talent is nurtured. Gifts aren't appreciated. It's almost like there exists between my siblings, even in absence of myself, a competition rather than friendly cooperation; and when I factor into that, it's the same dynamic.

 

My mother was a splitter and she came from a mother who was a splitter, so you have a family that is by its very nature at odds, and thus, deprives any real validation, unconditional love, or adoration - 

And I suppose just as much as the validation, the unconditional love, or adoration is what I seek; have always sought; and it has driven me to all my romantic relationships. If I was a true narcissist I think validation within myself would be enough, but it isn't. I look at relationships where women are completely loyal and devoted and affection toward their men and envy it - but at the same time, some part of me chooses women who on some level I know WON'T give me that, because that's what I was conditioned toward.

What I’m saying is fuck all that. For now.

 

Don’t let that get in the way of the killing you need to make in your 30s. You can pontificate about everything later on. You’ll have time.

 

It doesn’t have to be anything grand or “successful” either. Just something where at the end of month you put some money away. It would be better to do something where your career progresses and it’s easy money, but that’s not always possible some people are better at grinding. The first 10K every year goes in the bank. If you making 15k, you live on 5. It’s 10 years of living like a dog. But every dog has its day. 

 

Just keep Over heads low and your eye on the prize. Every sacrifice you make is just a means to an end. But you need at least 100k to buy some property to live in. Somewhere that you own and bills stop coming mostly.

 

Hopefully by doing that in your 30s you will then have some experience where you can make better money, but you won’t really need it. At that point you can start really working the system from a position of stability. 

 

Anyway I need to put this bullshit furniture together. I should have just paid them the 10 to put together but old habits die hard. 

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5 minutes ago, wasted said:

What I’m saying is fuck all that. For now.

 

Don’t let that get in the way of the killing you need to make in your 30s. You can pontificate about everything later on. You’ll have time.

 

It doesn’t have to be anything grand or “successful” either. Just something where at the end of month you put some money away. It would be better to do something where your career progresses and it’s easy money, but that’s not always possible some people are better at grinding. The first 10K every year goes in the bank. If you making 15k, you live on 5. It’s 10 years of living like a dog. But every dog has its day. 

 

Just keep Over heads low and your eye on the prize. Every sacrifice you make is just a means to an end. But you need at least 100k to buy some property to live in. Somewhere that you own and bills stop coming mostly.

 

Hopefully by doing that in your 30s you will then have some experience where you can make better money, but you won’t really need it. At that point you can start really working the system from a position of stability. 

 

Anyway I need to put this bullshit furniture together. I should have just paid them the 10 to put together but old habits die hard. 


My goals are to get my life together by 35. To be a Nurse by 35. Which is where a nice amount of money per year comes in. 

 

A more grand goal is - it's personal but to eventually be work in the hospital my parents worked in, and eventually be in the position of the woman who made my father's life at work a living hell - she was an administrative woman in Nursing and very ultra conservative and looked for any reason to fire him. For myself, to eventually achieve that position would be a terrific fuck you, besides being an accomplishment in and of itself for me and my sense of worth.

But for right now I need to keep my eye on the prize which is Nursing. I think 5 years is a wide enough window of time to do that within.

Right now, I have 40k in the bank. I'd like to try to hold onto that and make it grow but I know Jack shit about investing. Stocks and the like confuse the shit out of me. I don't have good credit now - it's shit - so I can't invest in property right now and with my job even if I could, I couldn't pay a mortgage/property taxes unless it was a maybe a very low monthly mortgage and land in an area with very low property taxes.

 

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3 hours ago, Bill Brasky said:

Stop dating women who get cream pies from other dudes.

 

The most sensible advice. Miser, @Wilco, I'm not trying to insult you but you're a limp-wristed cuckold if what you're posting about your dating life is true (assuming you have a dating life).

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3 hours ago, Wilco said:


My goals are to get my life together by 35. To be a Nurse by 35. Which is where a nice amount of money per year comes in. 

 

A more grand goal is - it's personal but to eventually be work in the hospital my parents worked in, and eventually be in the position of the woman who made my father's life at work a living hell - she was an administrative woman in Nursing and very ultra conservative and looked for any reason to fire him. For myself, to eventually achieve that position would be a terrific fuck you, besides being an accomplishment in and of itself for me and my sense of worth.

But for right now I need to keep my eye on the prize which is Nursing. I think 5 years is a wide enough window of time to do that within.

Right now, I have 40k in the bank. I'd like to try to hold onto that and make it grow but I know Jack shit about investing. Stocks and the like confuse the shit out of me. I don't have good credit now - it's shit - so I can't invest in property right now and with my job even if I could, I couldn't pay a mortgage/property taxes unless it was a maybe a very low monthly mortgage and land in an area with very low property taxes.

 

Put it in a fixed rate saver bond. You can’t take it out for 3-5 years, interest rate is low but you will still get something every month. Save it or spend the free cash. Work out how much you get from it in 5 years. In a few years 40k will be 45k. 

 

Sounds like you don’t need advice. Hope for the best, plan for the worst. 

 

I put together an Ikea couch today. With swearing more than three times. When I put the frame together backwards I wasn’t a happy camper. 

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12 hours ago, Wilco said:

I have a question for all 30+ GNFNR members.
I just turned 30 in November.
I know 30 is technically, by all reasonable standards a young age. But why don't I feel it?
I feel like 30 is too old to start fresh, make a whole new set of friends, and even get back into the dating scene. Yet I feel it's still young enough to do BIG things like relocate or buy a house.


I'm sort of in a Catch 22 in my life in that I'm behind where I should be, and also, I don't know what to do about my girlfriend. We have been together since 2016. It's become this draining, depressing web of lies on her end. Cheating for the past two years now. I love the girl but I feel myself drifting slowly mentally because I feel turned off.

But the bind I am is that...When I met her I was juggling two women. I had a different girlfriend every year from 2012-2016.

I feel like 30 is too old to play the field like that - am I wrong? I feel like it's the age a man should be settling down and starting a family, not bouncing from girl to girl. But a part of me doesn't want to settle down, I kind of want to make up for the last four years and just casually date. But I also, no offense man, but I don't want to end up like @EstrangedTWAT. I don't want to find I've turned 40 and am alone.

 

So for those of you who successfully navigated your 30s, what would you recommend:

 

1. Is 30 too old to get an all new set of (male) friends and build lasting bonds and deep friendships?

2. Is 30 too old to play the field and casually date, or can a guy still do that and be married with a kid on the way by say, 35?

Which leads me to:
 

3. Is 30-34 too old to be a Dad? I know a man can have kids at ANY age, really, but is 30, 33, 34 an old age to start having kids at for a man?

I'd genuinely like to hear your opinions. 

 

1. only if those friends aren't 15 year olds

2. only if aforementioned 30 hasn't written a rape fantasy on a GNR forum

3. nope. having kids is ideal in your 30's

 

I'd genuinely be happy if i come here and the first threads aren't about you. OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER

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11 hours ago, wasted said:

I’m just saying you can’t really get that money in your 40s. And there’s no way back. Or it’s going to be much harder and everyone gets more philosophical about their failure after their first heart attack. There is hope, then you die. 

the problem with your logic is that you probably make the most money in your 40's if you've done your 30's right. When you become 50, that is when things are truly over for you and you will be dead sooner than later. Otherwise, those posts were good. i'm surprised you've break your gimmick character for a moment there...

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9 hours ago, Val said:

 

No offense, but I don't think that's it at all. 

 

This isn't even me trying to be disrespectful to Miser, but I think Miser is just a classic narcissist. Everything becomes about him

 

He chooses relationships that he knows are gonna fail because HE can be the savior or the victim in it. He can either save her, or be the victim to a cruel woman.

 

I saw how he discussed the suicide of his last gf. It wasn't emotional, it wasn't because he genuinely cared. It was how HE CHOSE A WOMAN THAT KIILLED HERSELF 

 

THEREFORE HE IS THE PROBLEM. So that again, he can talk about himself. 

 

Miser enjoys the attention, whether it's negative or positive. To him, it's validation. 

 

That's how I see it  anyways.  

That's a very good point and i've refused to bring that up in that thread, but it clearly shows Miser is already wasting valuable resources (aka oxygen food and water). The absolute sheer coldness and ruthless while he tells the story and making it about himself being a victim, again. It's scary stuff.

He is basically fucking useless from a collectivist standpoint. he brings nothing to the table. All narcissists should have been exterminated by now, but hey, todays society basically rewards them mostly for their mental illness

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11 hours ago, Val said:

First you get da money

 

Den you get the power

 

Den you get da women

Kind of but women aren’t the objective. It’s the stability or control you can feel. Most guys destroy themselves trying to please women, with gestures or heart. They throw everything away on one chick who will probably turn around and call you a neo nazi if you don’t make money. We got to take the power back. 

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1 hour ago, Budd Dwyer said:

the problem with your logic is that you probably make the most money in your 40's if you've done your 30's right. When you become 50, that is when things are truly over for you and you will be dead sooner than later. Otherwise, those posts were good. i'm surprised you've break your gimmick character for a moment there...

 

I've never seen Wasted so opinionated before. Like you said, it's usually seems like a gimmick, but seems he's breaking away from that 

 

I like 😊

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1 hour ago, wasted said:

Kind of but women aren’t the objective. It’s the stability or control you can feel. Most guys destroy themselves trying to please women, with gestures or heart. They throw everything away on one chick who will probably turn around and call you a neo nazi if you don’t make money. We got to take the power back. 

 

I was quoting Scarface/ Simpsons  lol

 

 

 

That sugar thief is a straight savage lol

 

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11 hours ago, Budd Dwyer said:

the problem with your logic is that you probably make the most money in your 40's if you've done your 30's right. When you become 50, that is when things are truly over for you and you will be dead sooner than later. Otherwise, those posts were good. i'm surprised you've break your gimmick character for a moment there...

I think that’s what I was saying. I can’t express how the 30s are the real life, where you make options to make money in your 40s. I’m just saying if you focus on money/career in 30s, that’s better than getting fucked up and depressed by romance or pinning your hopes on something you can’t control. But some love wine, women and song for life so...I was just saying if you care about being a certain person later on then that’s all it is. Know what path you are on. 

 

I should write a self help book. How to fuck up losing. 

 

There’s no gimmick, I often ramble so sometimes I can make it more concise. I could have just said:

 

Your 30s is for planning your totalitarian empire you will have in your 40s. 

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I'm five years older than you, Wilco. Romance is something that's not been kind to me or something I've been great at, I'm still searching like so many people for real love, but its got me crawling on my knees at this point. I won't be skipping down the street anytime soon. I do things differently than I did in my 20's & early 30's, I feel calmer & don't tend to do dumb shit. I'd say listen to Wasted & get your career on point first & see where that leads you. 

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6 hours ago, Frank Drebin said:

I'm five years older than you, Wilco. Romance is something that's not been kind to me or something I've been great at, I'm still searching like so many people for real love, but its got me crawling on my knees at this point. I won't be skipping down the street anytime soon. I do things differently than I did in my 20's & early 30's, I feel calmer & don't tend to do dumb shit. I'd say listen to Wasted & get your career on point first & see where that leads you. 

 

Are you ugly?

 

Women are lying shits.  They say all they care about is a good sense of humor and a "stable" guy or some other horseshit....but it all comes down to looks.  It's the ONLY thing that matters to women.

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