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Being in your 30s - Help!


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I have a question for all 30+ GNFNR members.
I just turned 30 in November.
I know 30 is technically, by all reasonable standards a young age. But why don't I feel it?
I feel like 30 is too old to start fresh, make a whole new set of friends, and even get back into the dating scene. Yet I feel it's still young enough to do BIG things like relocate or buy a house.


I'm sort of in a Catch 22 in my life in that I'm behind where I should be, and also, I don't know what to do about my girlfriend. We have been together since 2016. It's become this draining, depressing web of lies on her end. Cheating for the past two years now. I love the girl but I feel myself drifting slowly mentally because I feel turned off.

But the bind I am is that...When I met her I was juggling two women. I had a different girlfriend every year from 2012-2016.

I feel like 30 is too old to play the field like that - am I wrong? I feel like it's the age a man should be settling down and starting a family, not bouncing from girl to girl. But a part of me doesn't want to settle down, I kind of want to make up for the last four years and just casually date. But I also, no offense man, but I don't want to end up like @EstrangedTWAT. I don't want to find I've turned 40 and am alone.

 

So for those of you who successfully navigated your 30s, what would you recommend:

 

1. Is 30 too old to get an all new set of (male) friends and build lasting bonds and deep friendships?

2. Is 30 too old to play the field and casually date, or can a guy still do that and be married with a kid on the way by say, 35?

Which leads me to:
 

3. Is 30-34 too old to be a Dad? I know a man can have kids at ANY age, really, but is 30, 33, 34 an old age to start having kids at for a man?

I'd genuinely like to hear your opinions. 

 

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Well, what you're doing now seems to work for you since you don't mind living with a "4" who comes home with the taste of a different guy's dick in her mouth every night.   No offense man.

Miser you have two other threads about yourself already. 

Stop dating women who get cream pies from other dudes.  

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I shouldn’t give advice, because who listens to advice. But I was thinking about this yesterday. Nobody tells you this. 

 

In my opinion as a guy you can spend your 30s just making money or career. You can do that your whole life. 

 

If you make money, that process or freedom of that will make you friends and allow you to get married in your 40s. 30s is when you make your options. After 40 your life is over. You can’t go back and redo the opportunities. That’s why they say life begins at 40. Life as in just being alive. Accepting you never were going to be important. In your 30s is when you can try, you can still have hope. 

 

The mistake is to get married because you think it will magically make you become that successful married guy. If you aren’t financially secure getting married will crush you and your dreams. It’s the last form of legal slavery. 

 

Think about how long it takes for you to be happy. If someone gave you 10 million dollars today, you’d be happy in a few weeks. Get money, player. 

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All matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration. We are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively.

 

There is no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves. 

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1 minute ago, arnold layne said:

All matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration. We are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively.

 

There is no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves. 

I want to imagine some D cups vibrating on my chin

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9 minutes ago, arnold layne said:

All matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration. We are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively.

 

There is no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves. 

It read with Bill’s voice in my head.

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28 minutes ago, wasted said:

I shouldn’t give advice, because who listens to advice. But I was thinking about this yesterday. Nobody tells you this. 

 

In my opinion as a guy you can spend your 30s just making money or career. You can do that your whole life. 

 

If you make money, that process or freedom of that will make you friends and allow you to get married in your 40s. 30s is when you make your options. After 40 your life is over. You can’t go back and redo the opportunities. That’s why they say life begins at 40. Life as in just being alive. Accepting you never were going to be important. In your 30s is when you can try, you can still have hope. 

 

The mistake is to get married because you think it will magically make you become that successful married guy. If you aren’t financially secure getting married will crush you and your dreams. It’s the last form of legal slavery. 

 

Think about how long it takes for you to be happy. If someone gave you 10 million dollars today, you’d be happy in a few weeks. Get money, player. 

 

Honestly, this is probably your all time best post. You make a lot of sense.

Myself, I always viewed a man's peak as being between the ages of 35-44, depending on health: You are still physically strong, and young of mind, but you have the wisdom of experience which negates the immaturity of youth. 

But one thing I'm confused on here - you say after 40 your life is over, but then you quote the axiom that life BEGINS at 40. So which is it really? You say it's over after 40, but that you can get married in your 40s, and I take from your post that you view that as a superior idea to getting married in your 30s.

I agree that ultimately moneys happiness. My mother also used to say there is nothing more attractive to a woman than a man with money. Not in the gold digger sense, but in the security sense, in the primal "My man can protect me" sense. 
 

So, if I was to take one thing from your post, would you say the current thing then to take would be "Fuck bitches, make money"?

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23 minutes ago, Wilco said:

 

Honestly, this is probably your all time best post. You make a lot of sense.

Myself, I always viewed a man's peak as being between the ages of 35-44, depending on health: You are still physically strong, and young of mind, but you have the wisdom of experience which negates the immaturity of youth. 

But one thing I'm confused on here - you say after 40 your life is over, but then you quote the axiom that life BEGINS at 40. So which is it really? You say it's over after 40, but that you can get married in your 40s, and I take from your post that you view that as a superior idea to getting married in your 30s.

I agree that ultimately moneys happiness. My mother also used to say there is nothing more attractive to a woman than a man with money. Not in the gold digger sense, but in the security sense, in the primal "My man can protect me" sense. 
 

So, if I was to take one thing from your post, would you say the current thing then to take would be "Fuck bitches, make money"?

Well I wouldn’t say it quite like that but sort of. I’m saying in your 30s is when you make your options. After 30 it’s much harder. You can’t suddenly go into corporate law or become a doctor. That’s when you have life. 

 

People say life begins at 40 is because that’s when you have to settle for what you did in your 30s. You start to fight for your actual life in your 40s, and there’s nothing you can really do about it. It’s still “life” but a compromised one. You can still be happy, life is an illusion etc. but you can’t always get what you want. In your 30s you make the money or career to get what you want. And you don’t have to know what you want! In your 40s when life begins you just need the money to choose. 

 

I’m saying you can expand your portfolio of options in your 30s. So make money, collect options. It’s the only time you can. 

 

As Chazz Palmenteri says “The saddest thing in life is wasted talent”

 

 

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12 minutes ago, Val said:

First you get da money

 

Den you get the power

 

Den you get da women

I’m just saying you can’t really get that money in your 40s. And there’s no way back. Or it’s going to be much harder and everyone gets more philosophical about their failure after their first heart attack. There is hope, then you die. 

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26 minutes ago, wasted said:

Well I wouldn’t say it quite like that but sort of. I’m saying in your 30s is when you make your options. After 30 it’s much harder. You can’t suddenly go into corporate law or become a doctor. That’s when you have life. 

 

People say life begins at 40 is because that’s when you have to settle for what you did in your 30s. You start to fight for your actual life in your 40s, and there’s nothing you can really do about it. It’s still “life” but a compromised one. You can still be happy, life is an illusion etc. but you can’t always get what you want. In your 30s you make the money or career to get what you want. And you don’t have to know what you want! In your 40s when life begins you just need the money to choose. 

 

I’m saying you can expand your portfolio of options in your 30s. So make money, collect options. It’s the only time you can. 

 

As Chazz Palmenteri says “The saddest thing in life is wasted talent”

 

 


My friend once wrote an essay based on me. She was deeply disappointed in me, and she used the Greek idea of a bad person - a person of ability who doesn't use it or wastes their talent. Apparently to the Greeks, that was their definition of a bad person. She used me as a wake up call to me - cause she felt I was smart or gifted and wasting it. I didn't listen then. But I'm 30 now.
 

I think you're right in your assessments but my problem is love is an obsession for me. 

I do agree with your assessment of what your 40s is, and I think that's why people begin to get really resentful in their 40s or have mid life crises, cause they can't accept that their life as is didn't live up to their dreams. My dad is 66 and STILL laments that he didn't go on to get his Master's Degree. He got his Bachelors at 41 and wanted immediately after to get his Master's. He also wanted to open up his own substance counseling practice around that same time - at 41 or 42. My mother nagged him until he gave up the first idea (Master's) and the other just never came together cause he had pushback from the AMA. By around 44 years old, I noticed a bitterness begin to set in him, this anger at the world, that never really went away. A jadedness that wasn't really there previously.

 

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27 minutes ago, Wilco said:


My friend once wrote an essay based on me. She was deeply disappointed in me, and she used the Greek idea of a bad person - a person of ability who doesn't use it or wastes their talent. Apparently to the Greeks, that was their definition of a bad person. She used me as a wake up call to me - cause she felt I was smart or gifted and wasting it. I didn't listen then. But I'm 30 now.
 

I think you're right in your assessments but my problem is love is an obsession for me. 

I do agree with your assessment of what your 40s is, and I think that's why people begin to get really resentful in their 40s or have mid life crises, cause they can't accept that their life as is didn't live up to their dreams. My dad is 66 and STILL laments that he didn't go on to get his Master's Degree. He got his Bachelors at 41 and wanted immediately after to get his Master's. He also wanted to open up his own substance counseling practice around that same time - at 41 or 42. My mother nagged him until he gave up the first idea (Master's) and the other just never came together cause he had pushback from the AMA. By around 44 years old, I noticed a bitterness begin to set in him, this anger at the world, that never really went away. A jadedness that wasn't really there previously.

 

You have to make it happen in your 30s. Life is just a chance. Past 40 is zero fucks time. 

 

Or you can just roll from one disaster to the next like me. Life is just a game we play. 

 

You can love, but it’s temporary. If you care about stuff make the money in the 30s so you can choose life in your 40s. 

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32 minutes ago, Donald Trump said:

Miser, all your romantic relationships are you trying to save your mom from your dad. You will keep dating fucked up chicks until you come to terms with this. 

 

No offense, but I don't think that's it at all. 

 

This isn't even me trying to be disrespectful to Miser, but I think Miser is just a classic narcissist. Everything becomes about him

 

He chooses relationships that he knows are gonna fail because HE can be the savior or the victim in it. He can either save her, or be the victim to a cruel woman.

 

I saw how he discussed the suicide of his last gf. It wasn't emotional, it wasn't because he genuinely cared. It was how HE CHOSE A WOMAN THAT KIILLED HERSELF 

 

THEREFORE HE IS THE PROBLEM. So that again, he can talk about himself. 

 

Miser enjoys the attention, whether it's negative or positive. To him, it's validation. 

 

That's how I see it  anyways.  

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