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I'm not angry anymore


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I can't explain it.
But there are reasons I suppose.
But even when I consciously try to summon the old anger or old hatefulness in me I just can't.

 

My mom died on November 12th, but beyond that for the past half year I've been being cheated on. For two years prior to now I've dealt with repeated cheating.


I was doing heavy amounts of Ambien and Xanax together in the spring and summer. I stopped taking Xanax in November and stopped taking Ambien in July. I was overdosing on the Ambien regularly - 100mg at a time, mixed with 10, 12 mg of Xanax. Those were overdoses. I was doing it to get high and experience psychedelic effects.


Ever since then slowly I just feel....numbed. I feel peaceful. Anger isn't part of me. Just a lot of introspection and regret and pity and remorse at how I used to be, both here, in real life, things I didn't do, delayed, or failed to, people I burned and relationships I in my younger self ruined.


I don't know if it was the drugs, or the cheating and humility from that, or my mom dying and having to take the reigns of my family but I just can't be angry anymore. I can't even consciously make myself so, that powerful, intoxicating, consuming and blinding rage is so....It's like it was ripped out of my psyche, I can't even touch or fathom it.
 

I just wanted to unburden myself here. I feel so emotionally blank. People think I'm play acting a "turned over leaf" but I just....I just feel blank. God, I want love so bad. 

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2 eastern European guys walk into a bar.   Ouch.   One of them yells "Hey, why is this bar here? Fuck you bar!"   The other says "No, is not your sister."    

the longer the wait, the bigger the screech

I WON'T BE TOLD ANYMORE    THAT I'VE BEEN BROUGHT DOWN IN THIS STORM

Life can be hard, look at @wasted he was kicked out from his own show, then he got blacklisted, he had a pretty bad divorce and could not pay child support, he got HIV too, now he is hiding and impersonating as Vince Vaughn.

 

All the old people know that he is Charlie Sheen, now all he does is shit posts on here and charges $300 for making personalised videos. 

 

He even got banned from the Plaza hotel in NYC cause he got naked and went crazy, he destroyed things worth $20,000. 

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38 minutes ago, Słash said:

Life can be hard, look at @wasted he was kicked out from his own show, then he got blacklisted, he had a pretty bad divorce and could not pay child support, he got HIV too, now he is hiding and impersonating as Vince Vaughn.

 

All the old people know that he is Charlie Sheen, now all he does is shit posts on here and charges $300 for making personalised videos. 

 

He even got banned from the Plaza hotel in NYC cause he got naked and went crazy, he destroyed things worth $20,000. 

$20,000 is what I tip in the covid era. 

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3 hours ago, Wilco said:

 

I just wanted to unburden myself here. I feel so emotionally blank. People think I'm play acting a "turned over leaf" but I just....I just feel blank. God, I want love so bad. 

Might i suggest NOT to search love in 15-16 year old girls pants after you wrote raping manifestos about fellow GNR forum members relatives? Therefore you would be socially acceptable and we might just might consider you a human being?

 

Let's be serious, Brian Jones have a bigger chance for a ressurection than you being accepted here

We don't really give a shit about what you feel. You are just a sociopath with an account to a GNR forum

Searching for love while posting on GNR forums about mainstream long deceased shit artists is not the best way...

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1 hour ago, Jeff Isbell said:

I'm not a Miser hater, but self-pity doesn't gain anything positive in general

Don't be fooled, we all started off nice and tolerant to this guy.

 

But he's a little fucking creep, and he's sick in the head.

Not in a cool way either.

 

In real life, this guy stinks of cum and moisturiser for sure.

 

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4 minutes ago, Doctor Dom said:

Don't be fooled, we all started off nice and tolerant to this guy.

 

But he's a little fucking creep, and he's sick in the head.

Not in a cool way either.

 

In real life, this guy stinks of cum and moisturiser for sure.

 

I'll figure it out myself if I keep tolerating him or not. Personally, I have had no dramas w him and have focused on only what he posts GNR-related, not some personal shit, which can be really over to top. I have called him out maybe twice - here and one occasion, where he made an incredibly shitty Fat Axl thread w 1991 pics

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6 minutes ago, Jeff Isbell said:

I'll figure it out myself if I keep tolerating him or not. Personally, I have had no dramas w him and have focused on only what he posts GNR-related, not some personal shit, which can be really over to top. I have called him out maybe twice - here and one occasion, where he made an incredibly shitty Fat Axl thread w 1991 pics

Okay, but 99% of the posters here had "drama" with him

Imagine if he wrote a raping manifesto about you or your loved ones

Pick your poison

If you keep supporting Miser, you'll met similar fate like his fate (eventually)

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2 minutes ago, Budd Dwyer said:

Okay, but 99% of the posters here had "drama" with him

Imagine if he wrote a raping manifesto about you or your loved ones

Pick your poison

If you keep supporting Miser, you'll met similar fate like his fate (eventually)

I'm aware of most of his shit, but can you link me the raping manifesto he had supposedly written? I don't blindly support him on every occasion, but as of today, I don't really hate him either. I'm probably taking the time to figure out whether he really has grown up or not.

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Haha I don't care if you like him or whatever, all I'm trying to say is people aren't "Miser haters" for no good reason.

 

Every time he's posting here, he should be off working on his mental state instead of Brian Jones/Axl's hair fantasy world, which is unhealthy for him.

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1 minute ago, Doctor Dom said:

Haha I don't care if you like him or whatever, all I'm trying to say is people aren't "Miser haters" for no good reason.

 

Every time he's posting here, he should be off working on his mental state instead of Brian Jones/Axl's hair fantasy world, which is unhealthy for him.

It's up to them what they think about him. I'm not his nutswinger either, although I may seem one of the most tolerant towards him. The hair and BJ shit has been done to death and is severely derailing some threads. Still interested seeing that raping manifesto, that could have been sick indeed

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3 minutes ago, Jeff Isbell said:

It's up to them what they think about him. I'm not his nutswinger either, although I may seem one of the most tolerant towards him. The hair and BJ shit has been done to death and is severely derailing some threads. Still interested seeing that raping manifesto, that could have been sick indeed

Some Brian Jones threads have indeed been derailed by off topic nonsense such as Guns N Roses.

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Just now, wasted said:

I don’t think I’ve seen Miser post anything too bad. To be honest I mostly read my own posts though so I’m not sure what anyone else is posting. 

Truth is, while some posts are decent, roughly half is for the sake of posting anything, no matter how good or bad the outcome is

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5 minutes ago, Jeff Isbell said:

Truth is, while some posts are decent, roughly half is for the sake of posting anything, no matter how good or bad the outcome is

Well, I can’t complain about that can I.

 

Live n let post is my philosophy.

 

If you can’t post your way what else do we have left? 

 

Anger is is not a bad topic to bring up.

 

My only thought is: depression is anger turned inwards. 

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I've always had a sweet spot for Miser. I never know if he's trolling or being sincere

 

I know he's made me laugh years ago with his threads. 

 

The discharge thread, the one time he made 13 threads to piss everyone off after they complained about him making too many threads. Lol. Also the time he made a thread posting porn and telling a few posters to go fuck themselves. To this day  I wish I would have screenshot that 😄

 

To be fair, I don't really have a history with Miser as others here have, but on my end I don't have any ill feelings towards him

 

@Wilco I hope you finally find happiness one day. It took me a while, but I found my happiness ♥  and I hope you do too

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