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Salsh Borski

The Shitting Thread.

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And looking back, the farts that were unintentionally released during the build-up were more satisfying than the final product itself. 

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I just did the wettest of shits, I couldn’t whipe my asshole clean it just kept smearing shit everywhere so I popped into the shower and it turned the water brown for 10 seconds, an impressive feat indeed.

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How's your quarantine shits? I've been trying to avoid needless snacking just sticking to 1-2 meals a day after my morning porridge oats. I should cut down on cheese really, I just love a nice cheese sandwich, the cheese I use is white cheese called Cheshire cheese or Wensleydale, I'm not really a fan of yellow/orange cheeses. Although the morning after the toilet usually requires a double flush. 

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the other day i was slowsmoking a big bowl, and felt the sudden need to take a shit

 

not wanting to waste the remainder of the bowl, i brought my bong into the bathroom and smoked weed while taking said shit

 

10/10 would do again

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1 hour ago, Dr. Strangelove said:

the other day i was slowsmoking a big bowl, and felt the sudden need to take a shit

 

not wanting to waste the remainder of the bowl, i brought my bong into the bathroom and smoked weed while taking said shit

 

10/10 would do again

Smoking bowls while filling bowls is the level I aspire to reach 

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3 hours ago, Frank Drebin said:

How's your quarantine shits? I've been trying to avoid needless snacking just sticking to 1-2 meals a day after my morning porridge oats. I should cut down on cheese really, I just love a nice cheese sandwich, the cheese I use is white cheese called Cheshire cheese or Wensleydale, I'm not really a fan of yellow/orange cheeses. Although the morning after the toilet usually requires a double flush. 

I haven't had a drink in 3 weeks. I am shitting like a champ.

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I found baked beans. I’m fully unblocked after the mozzarella cheese slice 48 hrs. Also Minute Maid really is liberating. 

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I just woke up desperate for a shit.  Worst shit ever.  It was like peanut butter.  It spread everywhere.  When it came to wiping time I was finding it on my ass cheeks, bottom of my back and on my balls.  Fuck me.  You know a shit was worthwhile when you were on the throne 25 mins, and then spend another 20 flushing, wiping and showering.   

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I’ve been making sausage and peppers so I bolt upright at 4am and scramble to the shitbox. People talk down on carbs but they are vital for steady bowel movements. 

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After I raided the salad box in my fridge, all the peppers (green, red, yellow etc.) broccoli, green beans & carrots and have a Salmon for dinner, I think damn that was a nice healthy dinner. Maybe a couple of hours later I'll have a banana sandwich, If I'm lucky I won't need to go till the morning but sometimes in the evening a sudden urge kicks in my stomach and says 'look I'm coming out here in two minutes whether you like it or not' and that's me off in a Usain Bolt dash to the toilet. 

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I’ve been going eggs, bacon, sausage, beans, mushrooms, toast and coke for breakfast. Then heading back to the bidet to meet my maker. 

 

“The sun is Black the sky is red and feels like today is the end”

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33 minutes ago, RedHook said:

 

I don't know exactly what has caused this but my recent shits are bigger and longer than ever.

are you sure your not just getting visits from a black dude while your on the toilet?

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I must have shit 25 times since Thursday and I have been using cheap toilet paper that I bought when this corona fuck started. It's been a double edged sword. The shit lubricates my aching asshole and it feels like a million bucks but once I wipe, it's back to bloody rawness

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8 hours ago, sixes said:

I must have shit 25 times since Thursday and I have been using cheap toilet paper that I bought when this corona fuck started. It's been a double edged sword. The shit lubricates my aching asshole and it feels like a million bucks but once I wipe, it's back to bloody rawness

I call those the terminator shits, because you have relief when you think the pain is gone but then you whipe your red asshole and the pain just keeps coming back

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I’ve had disappointing shits the past few days.  No odor, dry and unspectacular.  Think I’ll have a cumin And mustard sandwich to get things back on track

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A hemmy is like prison, I’m never going back.

 

Peppers and onions are on every menu at wasted’s bar and grill. 

 

Time to restock the beer. 

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