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ManetsBR

Guns N' Roses: Bienvenidos a la jungla bogotana

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Cool press is talking about us.

 

 

Apparently in 1992 some guys arranged a Guns N' Roses concert in an Escobar-ruled Bogotá and had no way to pay for the thing.  Still, they went for it and acted like it was all set. There was money being gathered, but arrengements were way behind deadline. Then, in a houllebecqian feature, just as our boys were in Venezuela, there was an attemped coup from Chavez. All airports were closed, and the band was stuck in the country; the Caracas concert was cancelled.

 

That delay allowed our colombian heros to import a stage from Miami and keep the show going. Once the airports were opened and our boy's plane flew over the clouded colombian sky, there were 5000 fans waiting for them at the Bogotá airport. There was no sight of police arround, so the vans had to manage their way throw the crowd. Eventually some overly excited fans jumped over the vans and one of the security men had to pull his revolver and and shoot up a couple of times. Just to keep things calm, you know how it is.

 

Finally they arrive at the hotel, where they are harassed, maybe sexually harassed, by a few fans among the 500 who were esperando a los Guns N' Roses. Apparently already completely wasted, the gunners, as they are called here, go to the Chispas Bar, where they finish their night. At the same time, surrounded by an ever-growing windstorm, the main character, a local producer, goes to the concert venue only to find out that their hard earned stage had collapsed.

 

There were two dates. They cancel one and decide to try to pull off at least one, the first (29 Nov 1992). It's not clear what was done regarding the tickets sold for the second date (Nov 30 1992). I don't know if my spanish fails at this moment or if they indeed don't mention it. Anyway, the producers go to the Chispas Bar where they talk to the Guns N' Roses manager, and they arrange that the band will get 45k for the concert cancelled. They agree. Ok, now the american embassy is involved. I don't know what's going on. There's a massive cloud above the stadium, but still there are angry fans outside; la horda. The US embassy and the producers are meeting at the actual stadium, where the band is playing? This is brilliant.

 

Then, our hero says fuck it, or, as precisely, "me importa un culo lo que estamos hablando aquí." And they'll do the concert. It didn't say how they fixed the stage, but Guns N' Roses is playing now; screw the US embassy. Still, it was hell surrounding the stadium. Police was now heavy, dealing with the many hordas that gathered around the concert. Apparently the second sold out date issue wasn't that much solved. The colonel responsible for the operation decided at one point to go on one of the small tanks to check on how the whole thing was going; the huge cloud breaks. After going around the stadium and seeing all the angry GNR fans fighting the police in order to enter the show, the colonel has a heart attack. Inside the tank, as we reach the end of the concert and November Rain starts playing, the man's own heart, filled by God knows what, attacked him and got him killed immediately. 

 

November Rain goes on, and it starts pouring raining. It was the best special effects they could ask for, as the producer says it. He was smoking marijuana and drinking Jägermeister with another colonel and a fellow producer at his side. Although it was mayhem ouside, the concert was going well. As the song ends, though, apparently Axl talks to Slash on the microphone about how they'll get electrecuted; there are some little puddles around already . The producer leaves the VIP cabin and rushes to the stage. It's not a joke, they get to get off the stage indeed. Axl says "Tranquilos. No nos vamos, ja volvemos." Don't worry. We won't leave, we'll be back.

 

Mid the confusion, our hero notices that though the rain is getting lighter, the GNR crew is pulling the plugs and actually started to load. The producer sees that and questions them right away, quite agressively given such a dishonest move. The GNR crew tries to outtalk him, but he has a fair amount of colombian workers, among security and stage assemblers, behind his back. There's a showdown. The colombian producer tries to knock the GNR representative with a header . "It's not raining anymore and they haven't played Sweet Child O' Mine and Knocking On Heaven's Door, motherfucker." Still, Guns N' Roses leaves. Their wounded man calls for back up, and they manage to leave in their vans. The rain was completely gone, it was a perfect weather to fly.

 

Thing is, one of the associates paying for the concert was an Air Force captain and warned the airport control tower that the Guns N' Roses plane was filled with drugs. Not only the plane though, Guns N' Roses themselves were filled with drugs. They were asked to stop the plane so the police could seize whatever illegal substance they could find on board. At 3 AM, the air was now completely dry, and the colombian DEA finally arrived at their jet, and what the story says, and the producer has quite a laugh at, is that they put them throw a rigid intimate survey, with full body check, anal cheek spreads and all. That's the story of this video.


 

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"as we reach the end of the concert and November Rain starts playing, the man's own heart, filled by God knows what, attacked him and got him killed immediately." 

 

His heart had the sense to pull the plug there and then. Must have had advanced knowledge of This I Love landing some day in the future. 

 

 

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Nobody is going to read this shit.

 

Isnt this the episode they needed sone coke and didnt have any? Then someone goes "we're in colombia and theres no coke?"

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6 hours ago, Donald Trump said:

Was it the band's cocaine use that made them so popular in the South Americas? 

they were a perfect product-market fit

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