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Miser

Hi guys....need help

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4 minutes ago, Facekicker said:

You could say...she doesn't want Miser's hotdog anymore. 

After all, we all know the old, classic saying-

 

"There is a wiener for everyone. It may not be the one you want, or even taste good, but sometimes you have to pucker up and just suck on the sausage you're dealt"

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Stop talking about sausages before he starts posting pics of it. Dont give him ideas that wouldnt help his situation.

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4 hours ago, hotdogman said:

Also, its probably done tbh. If shes said she aint feeling it, there ismt really coming back from that.

 

Sorry bro. 

yes words of wisdom. once your woman refuses to feel your sausage it means she's probably sucking on some other salami

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Maybe dating Miser was her rock bottom and she's turning her life around.

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I think seeking help is always a good step. It's good to reach out rather than bottle up inside.    

 

.....but, my observation over the years is that when you seek advice it's more just for coping. It seems just a crutch and method to procrastinate, avoiding acknowledging the answer that is already right in front of you. Ultimately delaying a solution further. Sometimes you just have to accept reality and actually change on your own and not wait for advice to come to you.

 

I'm not sure if this is really seeking advice as much as hoping someone will change your reality for you by giving you a magic answer.

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5 hours ago, AxlisOld said:

Maybe dating Miser was her rock bottom and she's turning her life around.

 

I don't think so really. A lot of men wouldn't put up with her bullshit either. It's a two way street. She's a great girl but at the same time, she's got a lot of her own issues that would put most guys off after a time. 
 

11 hours ago, hotdogman said:

Also, its probably done tbh. If shes said she aint feeling it, there ismt really coming back from that.

 

Sorry bro. 


You know, after more sober consideration you're probably right and if it ends, it ends. I'm going to be 29 this year. I have already told myself mentally that I'm giving her until the end of July to either get back on my team or I'm going. I'm not spending the last full year of my 20s with someone who isn't fully with me on things. And I want the next few years to be years of upward climbing, progress and achievement. She can either be along for that or not.
 

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On 1/26/2019 at 8:12 PM, Skeeter said:

Miser - millions of people go through a divorce or painful breakup and think that they are losing “the one.”  And that they will never replace her, never be happy again, and never find somebody as good as her. And you know what happens??? A year later they are in love again and in even a better relationship. 

 

If you treated this chick like shit. And she isn’t sure you are her one in a million, then guess what? You guys aren’t fucking soulmates. 

 

True soulmates or one in a million relationships don’t take this much work. This is your sign. She isn’t The One. 

 

Secondly - stop comparing your life to celebrities. You aren’t Axl Rose. This girl isn’t your Stephanie Seymour, whatever the hell that is. Do you smack her around? Do you make her piss in a kitty litter box? That’s the relationship those two had....and how did it work out? Are they married and living happily ever after? It’s literally cringeworthy when you use pop culture or celebs when describing your life. I seriously hope you never actually told her “you are my Stephanie Seymour.”  

 

Finally. Like so many others have said. You have to fix yourself. You have to become happy with YOU. Then, and only then should you commit to a serious relationship. Until then, just hoodrats and casual fun.  

 

Crazy attracts crazy. 

You might find your dream woman, but you will never “get” or keep her until you fix yourself. 

 

But dude. You’ve been told this a million times before. 

Fix yourself. 

Be happy being alone.

Stop comparing your life to rock stars. 

And stop thinking every girl is The One. 


This is what I needed to hear.
 

Yeah I was a bit melodramatic with the thread. I was just at my own personal rock bottom when I wrote this cause it feels like a lot of shit even besides the relationship is/was happening at once. Ultimately this is my life and I have to be happy with me and enjoy it, and to be honest, I feel however this ends up I'm a better person for the experience. What you said is thoroughly and actually appreciated and I feel stupid for making myself look weak or being weak over a woman. 

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On 1/26/2019 at 8:12 PM, Skeeter said:

True soulmates or one in a million relationships don’t take this much work. This is your sign. She isn’t The One. 

 

I seriously hope you never actually told her “you are my Stephanie Seymour.” 

That's a subject I've always struggled with, girls/relationships that require a lot of work.  Logic would dictate, if you're meant to be together it will be a breeze for you.  But there's plenty of girls who like to play hard to get, like to be forced into things, like to make the guy's life a living hell to see how much the guy really wants and cares about them.   Or the girl simply doesn't know what she wants, or doesn't know what is best for her in the long run.

 

So Miser shouldn't give up on her just because she says she isn't in love with him.  She could quickly feel very differently.  A buddy of mine wanted to get together with a mutual friend for the longest time.  He constantly showed his affection towards her, did everything possible to win her over, but she always rejected his advances and insisted she had no interest in him.  Yadda yadda yadda, they are now married with children.  It was a classic example of a guy not giving up, and a girl giving in because she probably thought "Wow, this guy must really love me". 

 

TL;DR - Some girls force guys to go through a lot of shit, to test the guy and see how much he really wants them.

 

And unless Miser's girlfriend is a cougar or a hardcore GNR fan, I doubt she'd know who Stephanie Seymour is.  😄 

 

 

 

 

 

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1 hour ago, Miser said:

 

I don't think so really. A lot of men wouldn't put up with her bullshit either. It's a two way street. She's a great girl but at the same time, she's got a lot of her own issues that would put most guys off after a time. 

 

Ugh, then just goddamn leave. You said yourself she's on her way out anyway. Now feel free to toss this advice in the garbage with everything else everyone ever says to you and you don't do.

 

Also, 5 years.

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5 minutes ago, AxlisOld said:

Ugh, then just goddamn leave. You said yourself she's on her way out anyway. Now feel free to toss this advice in the garbage with everything else everyone ever says to you and you don't do.

 

Also, 5 years.


Problem is that when you love someone it's hard to give up on them. At least for me it is. She's a pain in the ass and she has her flaws like any other human being but I do love her. The fact that she doesn't feel exactly the same right now is the issue. Like I said in a previous post, I'm giving it until July or so. That should be more than enough time to see which way the wind is blowing. I admit I am a deeply flawed person and I messed this one up but, as my friends have told me, based on things they have been told and read they believe she does love me but she's trying to convince herself she doesn't. She's very afraid of commitment, and of the idea of 'settling' to use her words and of the idea of being trapped. Every married couple she has ever witnessed only are together because they can't financially get away from each other. She never had the lesson of a lasting, loving marriage to have any faith in the institution or in the idea of long term commitment. My parents as everyone knows are very fucked up individuals but my grandparents enjoyed a very loving 61 year marriage that only ended when my grandmother died of cancer (and to be honest, I'm surprised my grandfather has survived her by four years. I thought he'd be dead within months when I saw him at her funeral). I'm old fashioned in some respects. I believe in working on these things until you can't anymore. While I imagine it has never gotten to the point that I'm in now, I'm sure you and Andrea have had fights at times, or even at least one. Every couple has a moment or two or three where they probably can't stand the other but the whole idea of this is to me, you make it work. People today don't believe in loyalty because Tinder and Social Media and all this crap that has done so much to tear down traditional relationships. A relationship shouldn't be ALL work, but work on both parts goes into it daily.

You're not the only person who has said I should leave. All of my friends have said as much and advised me the same. I'm obstinate and I want to win. And I want to prove even my own doubts wrong.  I always gave up on things very easily if they became hard - that's why my life is so far behind, because I never had the faith or confidence in myself to dust myself off after a failure and try again. I would give up. I used to take piano lessons as as a child and when it wasn't clicking I got bored quickly and gave up. I've always given up on things when it's gotten tough. I'm tired of being that way.

As to 5 years, different times, different circumstances, different me. I haven't been on here since August of last year. But as much as I'm disliked, frankly, I belong here. I'm a misfit and outcast and so is almost everyone here, in their own ways - and that's not an insult. 

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Holy fuck that's a lot that I won't read. But whatever mental gymnastics you feel like you have to do to "belong here." No you don't. But at least you basically admitted you're completely full of shit.

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I always laughed at Miser's posts thinking it was all one big act. Now i'm actually concerned into thinking he might have a form of psychosis (i'm not taking the piss here either, I know the sympoms first hand because I've had RL friends who's been diagnosed with it). Dude get out of your fucking head, get some medication or some life experience and keep going forward. You fuck up when you stop and analyse stuff too much, if people aren't walking side by side with you, then leave them behind.  There's no time in life for dead weight.

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You weren’t going to be a concert pianist. 

 

I think you should think of women as manifestations of the state.

 

 

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It's weird. During the day I feel fine and at night I get extremely depressed, almost suicidal to be honest. I will honestly sit at night sometimes fantasizing about slicing my wrists open or something. I have been consistently unhappy since December 2017. First in grief over the death of my friend and then going through an emotional breakdown afterward. Now because of the situation I'm in because of the aforementioned emotional breakdown plus other factors. I feel genuinely haunted. I have vivid nightmarish dreams almost every night. During the day, I feel better but at night I feel so goddamn depressed. I didn't eat for a few days last week and I'm eating only a meal a day and I just am tired of living. I genuinely and actually wish I could be diagnosed with some terminal illness so that I don't have to off myself. I see a genuine helpless futility to life or at least my life as of late. I feel like something is always on my back so to speak and I can't escape it and having felt like this for over a year I am emotionally worn down to a nub.

Edited by Miser

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