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HOCKEY IS BACK

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Halifax Moosehead

Most Canadian thing I've ever heard.

 

a few things.

 

a) moose are fucking terrifying. They kill motherfuckers, great team name. It's the Mooseheads, by the way. I dun goof'd.

 

b ) their mascot is the thing that is retarded, Hal. but he gave me one of my favorite live hockey moments of all time;

 

so it was late 2004, just after the Indonesia tsunami. moment of silence. very solemn. I look down on the ice and i see this guy standing there, hands clasped in reflection, but with the giant simile.

 

tumblr_lt1cm6ChUw1qhtfypo1_500.jpg

 

i could not stop fucking laughing, surrounded by dead silence. it was incredibly awkward, but that made me laugh even harder. it probably went on for 15 of the 20 seconds of the moment of silence.

 

anyways, great story jackie. you can all feel free to tell it at parties.

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There's a great short story in there.

one time i held him in my arms. i picked him up like he was my bride. a different story, but i should for sure meld the two. carry him off behind the bleachers to violate his furry butthole.

 

i could probably sell one copy. to gunsguy, i'm guessing. he seems like he would be into that furry shit.

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we play a game of shinny hockey every christmas eve, im a goalie, this year a girl is playing in the other net. Shes really fucking good.

 

my comment - "this wont be the first time i've been beaten by a girl. At least this time i wont have to pay for it"

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So wait, the Rangers are doing well in the strongest division despite Hank playing like shit?

 

Never saw that coming.

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On 01/30/2017 at 5:11 AM, Bill Brasky said:

Don't want him back!

 

you will see what he does.

So far he's taken a decade-long bottom feeder, made some risky trades and built a team competing for 1st in the division in under 2 years.

 

Didn't he also win you guys a cup and multiple playoff runs?

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37 minutes ago, bacardimayne said:

So wait, the Rangers are doing well in the strongest division despite Hank playing like shit?

 

Never saw that coming.

When their forwards are healthy, they have 3 lines that score goals in bunches, and a fourth that isn't too bad. Hank has gone from shaky to flat out bad. D is thin.

 

It's bizarro Rangers.

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There are a group of Canadians that live down the road from the 7-Eleven I work at. 

 

They pretty much fit every stereotype: the "Oh ya's", flannel shirts, super friendly, and they play hockey for the local school.

 

Three Canadians in the middle of Oklahoma. 

 

They fucking crack me up. Holy shit.

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"oh ya" is a Canadian thing? TIL I'm a walking caricature

 

Also, the post all-star break shittening has begun. It was only a matter of time.

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The coach and GM are always the first scapegoat to fall. Expect to go through 2-3 of each before your team is good again.

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Daily reminder that Kris Kreider will paste you to the glass, fire one past your goalie, and then run over your goalie for good measure, and you won't do shit about it.

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On 2/11/2017 at 6:09 AM, John Bonham said:

Going to Springfield Falcons game tonight.

That used to be the Oilers' farm team. Not sure who they're affiliated with now.

 

Speaking of the Oilers, it seems they required my life force to become good again. Hope my pancreas sacrifice was worth it.

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