I spent 12 hours doing server updates Saturday and drank a shitload of caffeine all day. Slam back a pint of vodka when I was done. Wait a bit. Buzz died. Decided to go and get some Lagunitas and Jack in the Box.
Get pulled over.
Blow a .082
I pulled the "wife works at <city>PD card. Kinda works.
Luckily he moved my truck for me (no towing) and sends me to the local addict/detox center (so my mug doesn't end up online).
I sat there, in a cell, for 2 goddamn hours with two cups of water while doing pushups and pacing (to hopefully to metabolize more) waiting to be released while three old drunktards were plastered sleeping on some shitstained pisscovered mattresses.
I also took a poop.
Now I either need a lawyer, diversion class, or divorce -- or all three.
I want Uber here now.