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Status Updates posted by EstrangedTWAT

  1. Hey Ross....tell us again about the special sandwich Monica makes with leftover turkey and gravy after Thanksgiving?   What do you call it?

    1. Show previous comments  4 more
    2. magisme



    3. Frank Drebin

      Frank Drebin

      Be careful when you take a bite of that sandwich, a buddy of mine took his fingers clean off when taking a bite. True Story.

    4. Ross
  2. If one more motherfucker tells me to "wash your hands" like I'm a three year old, I'm gonna stick both of them up a dead pig's ass and never wash them again out of spite.

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. maynard


      Dont forget to wash your hands. Stay safe brother.

    3. arnold layne

      arnold layne

      Wash your hands

    4. CatatonicKitty


      You should be okay to go with that pig ass idea, ass long as you don’t eat a live bat and lick your fingers after.

  3. Finally "won" a day yesterday....all it took was 8 hours of my best shitposting.  That's a lot of work.

    1. John Bonham

      John Bonham

      Excellent Josh. See if you can do three in a row

    2. Pappa FAT

      Pappa FAT

      i just printed out your status update and put it on my fridge door, that's one to tick off the bucket list my yellow fever friend.

  4. Can't....stop.....beating...off......wtf is wrong with me??  I'm 42 for christ's sake!

    1. Show previous comments  2 more
    2. Pappa FAT

      Pappa FAT

      wankiing is good for the soul but bad for the foreskin

    3. EstrangedTWAT


      I was robbed of my foreskin hours after my birth, against my will.   I'll never know if it's better to have a hood or not.   Bastards butchered me.

    4. Mr. Santos

      Mr. Santos

      Tenho fotos de Beth com seu traseiro cheio de sopa de feijão preto.


      Gostaria desse coelho gordinho?

  5. Islam is right about women.

    1. ManetsBR


      Maybe Islam is right about everything? Read Michel Houllebecq's Submission, it's one of the best books I've read this year. It's set in 2022 in France, when the Muslin Party wins the national election. And it was released on 2015 on the same day of the Charlie Hebdo attacks, and that day's issue of the journal was about the book! "The good news of prophet Houllebecq"! Anyway, yes. They probably are.

  6. I had a nice explosive jerk off after work.  Tried again before bed and it was weak.  I should have waited longer.  Oh well.

    1. maynard


      I like liquid explosion in vagine after making love to shave pussy tight as young boy anus

  7. Leaks Make GNR Great Again!!!


  8. Well, I'm off to see the pillows, Japan's only good rock band.  Later, fags!

  9. Some fashion designer I never heard of and some chef whose name I recognized killed themselves.  Now I'm just shaking.  I literally can't even.

    1. Pappa FAT

      Pappa FAT

      it's sad - life is hard and some people can't find a way out


  11. Goddamn it I'm 40.  I'm fucking 40.  This can't be happening.  I wasted my life.  Why didn't I listen to the dean??  Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life.

    1. Show previous comments  6 more
    2. AxlisOld


      Hit that gym, you know it can work. Have a cheat day every week (within reason). Stay off the sauce, you know damn well it doesn't treat you well. 40 ain't shit, so sayeth the 32 year old.

    3. sixes


      I wish I was still 40....

  12. Shit. I wanna punch every guy with a girlfriend right in the damn teeth. Fuck. Castration is sounding pretty damn good.

    1. Beast Of Bray Rd

      Beast Of Bray Rd

      Yhea but after u get laid it's like ah. Now wot? Relationships can be so shitty. Not met the right one yet I guess.

    2. arnold layne

      arnold layne

      Gimme back my alcohol. Gimme back my alcohol. Gimme back...

    3. redhead74


      You gotta go somewhere else, do something else, shake it up. Get out of the rut you're in. :-)

  13. New Strokes album is totally "meh." Maybe better than last one? But that's not saying much.

    1. AbominableHoman


      Never really listened to them. Generic as shit and they'll be buried in this decade when people glance back. imho

  14. The dildo I bought my ex-gf is broken. It doesn't vibrate. Without the vibes, it didn't feel nearly as good when I tried shoving it up my ass last night..

    1. Show previous comments  6 more
    2. Venetian Cova

      Venetian Cova

      i don't advocate inter species erotica

    3. classicrawker


      Hey don't blame me blme RIchard Gere :shrugs:

    4. classicrawker


      Hey don't blame me blme RIchard Gere :shrugs:

  15. fuck your fucking mother's smelly bunghole. i do not want to be your friend. leave me the fuck alone.

  16. Well, whatever Arnold. You've officially crossed over into Miser territory. I'm done giving a shit about you if that's the way you want it. Drama queen. You have no idea what real suffering and tragedy is.

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. arnold layne

      arnold layne

      I'm good now, Chloe just made it clear that 'sleeping with me would be one of the worst decisions'. I'm over it now.

    3. thenightrain


      who gives a fuck what see thinks? In all fairness, for all you know she could really be a 52 year old man trolling the fuck out of everyone, making them think its a girl. Wouldn't mind you getting pissy about it if she was the girl down the street from you that you loved, but its someone you dont know from an internet forum. Shut up about it because people are sick of hearing you whine.

    4. Broskirose
  17. I had a nightmare about the scene in Superman III where the lady gets turned into a robot. And I'm still freaked out about it all day. Watch the fucking scene....I dare you!

    1. classicrawker


      I would be more afraid of begin turned into a Borg

  18. gilly's vadge. Gilly's Vadge. Gilly's Vadge! Gilly's Vadge!!! GILLY'S VADGE!!! GILLY'S VADGE!!!!!!!

  19. good news: the inaugural use of my puke bucket was a rousing success!!

    1. Venetian Cova

      Venetian Cova

      Good to know! At least your poor bed didn't have to take it this time. :D

  20. I'm fed UP with this wooorrld.

    1. Show previous comments  5 more
    2. Venetian Cova

      Venetian Cova

      Denny, two is great, but three is a crowd.

    3. classicrawker


      Three is a crowd..every man's fantasy

    4. classicrawker


      Three is a crowd..every man's fantasy

  21. I don't wanna sound like a queer or nothin, but I listened to "Scraped" today and I think Axl's vocal intro totally kicks ass.

    1. Show previous comments  3 more
    2. KionaSko


      I always skip the intro, it makes me cringe...

    3. Catch Her In the Rye

      Catch Her In the Rye

      Great song, awesome lyrics.. The point of GNR.. Not a real fan if you don't get the message.. !

  22. give it a fucking rest. jesus.

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